Reclaiming Grief: Ancestral Practices & The Decolonization of Mourning
What If We’ve Been Taught Grief All Wrong?
Western psychology tells us that grief is something to get over—a linear process that moves through predictable “stages” until we emerge on the other side, healed and whole.
But what if grief isn’t meant to be something we leave behind?
What if grief is a portal—a sacred and ongoing relationship that connects us not only to our loss but to our lineage, our ancestors, and our own becoming?
This is the foundation of my research.
For centuries, Indigenous grief traditions—particularly those of the African diaspora—have honored death, mourning, and ancestral connection in ways that Western psychology fails to recognize. Yet, these practices remain largely absent from the field of bereavement studies.
My dissertation, Modupe Egungun: Honoring Our Ancestors in the Bereavement Process, seeks to bridge that gap—to reclaim grief as a sacred practice rather than a condition to be treated.
The Problem: Why Western Grief Models Are Incomplete
Modern grief psychology has been shaped by thinkers like Freud, Bowlby, and Worden. Their theories frame grief as a cognitive and emotional experience that can be processed, resolved, and moved beyond.
Freud’s Model of Mourning (1917) taught that “healthy” grieving requires detaching from the deceased and redirecting emotional energy elsewhere.
The Five Stages of Grief (Kubler-Ross, 1969) turned grief into a linear, step-by-step process.
Attachment Theories (Bowlby, 1982) suggested that grief is a disruption of emotional bonds that must be repaired.
What’s missing from these models? Spirit. Continuation. Relationship.
Western frameworks operate within a materialist worldview, where life ends at death and grief is something to be “worked through” so the bereaved can re-enter normal life.
But many Indigenous traditions, including those of Ifá and Lucumí, hold a different truth:
Death is not the end. Our ancestors are still with us. And grieving is not about moving on—it’s about learning how to stay in relationship.
The Ancestral Lens: Ifá, Lucumí & the Continuation of Spirit
In Ifá, the Yoruba spiritual tradition practiced across West Africa and the African diaspora, the death of the body is simply a transformation—not an end, but a passage.
The Egungun (ancestors) remain active in the lives of the living. Their guidance, protection, and presence shape our paths.
Grief is communal, not individual. Funerary rites, ancestral veneration, and ongoing rituals keep the deceased integrated into the family lineage.
Death is cyclical. Just as nature moves in seasons, life and death exist in a sacred rhythm—not as a permanent severance.
Lucumí, the Cuban-born tradition rooted in Ifá, also holds ancestor reverence at its core. Practitioners continue to engage with their departed loved ones through offerings, divination, and spiritual work, recognizing that their guidance is ever-present.
So what does this mean for grief?
It means that for Ifá and Lucumí practitioners, mourning is not about severance—it is about relationship.
When we continue to honor our dead, when we call their names, when we tend to our grief as an extension of love, we are not just remembering them. We are walking with them.
A Different Way of Knowing: A Decolonial & Ancestral Methodology
Grief is not just psychological—it is spiritual, relational, and embodied. Yet, Western research often ignores these aspects, favoring models of grief that focus on cognition and emotional processing while dismissing ancestral and Indigenous grief traditions as “unscientific.”
My dissertation challenges this by employing Cyclical Postcolonial Indigenous Research Methodology (CPIM)—a framework that prioritizes relational, embodied, and spiritual ways of knowing. Instead of treating grief as something that can be measured in isolation, this approach understands grief as an ongoing, communal, and ancestral process.
Rather than extracting data through detached observation, my research integrates:
Oral Storytelling & Ancestral Testimonies → Honoring spoken knowledge as a sacred research method.
Ritual-Based Inquiry → Engaging with grief through ceremony, offerings, and divination.
Embodied Knowledge & Somatic Awareness → Recognizing how grief moves through the body and spirit.
Relational Accountability → Prioritizing the well-being of participants, ensuring that their wisdom is honored rather than exploited for academic purposes.
This methodology reflects the traditions I walk with—Ifá, Lucumí, and other Indigenous ways of knowing. It challenges the idea that knowledge must be “proven” through detached analysis, reminding us that grief is not something we study from a distance—it is something we live with, move with, and carry forward.
Decolonizing Grief: What This Means for Healing
For too long, Black, Indigenous, and People of Color (BIPOC) have had to navigate grief in spaces that do not honor their cultural traditions.
Therapists may dismiss ongoing ancestral connection as “denial.”
Dream visitations, synchronicities, and spiritual encounters are often pathologized.
Western grief support groups may not recognize the ways certain cultures honor their dead.
This is why my research matters.
Decolonizing grief means making space for the ways non-Western traditions engage with mourning—without medicalizing, dismissing, or distorting them.
It means acknowledging that grief is not just psychological—it is spiritual, ancestral, and communal.
And most importantly, it means giving people the tools to honor their grief in ways that feel true to their lineage.
Walking the Path of Ancestral Grief Work
If this resonates with you—if you have ever felt that the Western grief models do not fully hold your experience—you are not alone.
My work extends beyond research. It is a practice, a community, a way of remembering.
If you are seeking:
